Rethink small talk and spark real connection. Discover why asking the right question can lead to more meaningful conversations.
This week, I peeled myself away from my backyard office and wandered into a new coworking space downtown. It was full of the usual suspects: journalists, engineers, some entrepreneurs, even an architect. The coffee was free, the chairs were fancy, and honestly, I was just happy to be around people for a change.
Of course, new faces come with the usual small talk, so it didn’t take long before I got that classic question we all know too well.
“What Do You Do?”
We’ve all asked it. We’ve all answered it. It’s the default way our culture tries to size each other up. I get why we do it. Work takes up so much of life, it feels like a logical conversation starter. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s really the best way to get to know someone.
On my drive home, I replayed my answers. “I’m a user experience designer.” Then I launched into something about being a hopeful entrepreneur and working on a new app I’m excited about.
There are so many parts of my story I didn’t share - thankfully I resisted my unsolicited dad ramble! Things like being a dad of three, watching reality TV with my wife, or my obsession of midday workouts.
Clearly, I need to get out more. But maybe a little mystery isn’t such a bad thing.
This new, yet familiar scenario got me thinking: is there a better way to connect?
Reframing Our Introductions
What if, instead of “What do you do?” we tried, “What are you excited about?”
I know, it kind of feels like jumping straight to second base in a conversation. It’s a little bold, maybe even unexpected, but it opens the door to more real conversations, the kind people actually enjoy having.
A Gentler Approach
Maybe we soften it. Something like, “Hey, I’m Jeremy. I’m excited to meet folks here. What are you into these days?”
That gives people a chance to talk about work if they want or head to second base with me and mention something else that matters to them.
That’s usually where the good stuff is anyway.
Their new mountain biking hobby, the kitchen remodel, or their adventure coaching their 4 year old's soccer team.
Let's open the door to more meaningful conversation.
Your Turn...
If we bumped into each other, and I asked what you’re excited about, how would you answer?
What’s lighting you up or getting your attention lately?
Leave a comment and let me know... What excites you?
Write a comment
Post a Comment